Worst Love Poem Entries

Read the entries of the Worst Love Poem Contest!

While these poems did not win, they are still creatively awful and hilarious!


Promposal

By Eric Miller

Dear Margaret,

Roses are red,Violets are blue,
These poems are cliché,
Oh God it’s true.

Violets are blue,
These poems are cliché,
Oh God it’s true.

You know what?
Let’s just cut to the chase.

My love for you is deeper than the sea.
Cupid’s arrow has pierced my soul,
I’m the Romeo to your Juliet,
But I’m so sorry for this cringey scroll.

Will you go to prom with me?

Signed,
Your cloak-and-dagger secret admirer of 5 years, 124 days, 9 hours, 48 seconds and counting,
Stuart D. Penderghast III

P.S. I already hired a barbershop quartet
To serenade this whole poem to you,
Just before your last swim meet this season,
Couldn’t get a refund, but sorry about that too.


Rhythmic Reminiscing


By Kristen Cuccoli
(Author note: It’s more fun to read at a metronome beat of 70 and start on the offbeat)

Cupid’s
Dart hit my heart
When I saw you with awe,
Your eyes were the skies,
Where I could just fly
But me
Shy as a fly
I looked down at my gown,
And hid like a kid
With my punch in a hunch
But you
Stopped and you gawped
When you pranced and then glanced
At the girl who wore pearl,
The she who was me
With your
Hand and the band
We jumped twirled and unfurled
And we flipped and we quipped,
Until we felt ill
But the
Thought that is taut
In a bind in my mind
Is our very first kiss
That was truly pure bliss.


Our Love

By Sarah Synk

Our love
Will never stop.
We both have bleedin’ hearts.
We lust,
We kiss.
Our love-
Our heart.
You’ve been there for me,
Fine as the boat sailin’ on the sea,
Now…
Let’s go get a cup of tea.
Our love,
Our heart.
Our love,
We…
We will never be apart.
Our love,
Our heart
Is something we didn’t buy,
Our love,
We sometimes cry.
Our love,
Is shiny like the sun,
It is something we won.
But then,
One day,
You walked out of my life.
And I thought I couldn’t survive.
Darkness lurked around me,
And then I could not see.
Our love,
Our heart.
We didn’t have that bleedin’ heart.
Our love…did stop!
One Valentines Day,
I thought of our love,
Soarin’ like a dove.
Fly..fly…fly.
I wanted a happy box of chocolate shaped as a heart,
A flower to the start.
Love went to the grave.
Our love,
Our heart.
Did are love really die?
When we broke up,
I decided to cry,
All I could do was whine.
Our love,
Our heart.
Was fake.
Our love,
Wasn’t our fate.
Our love,
Our heart.
Damn that feelin’ we so called “love.”
Maybe Shakespeare did leave us with a question..
Was love worth a sacrifice?
I just thought of that one night,
And woke up from fright.
Our love,
Our heart.
Was never again in the book of love.
Ah…to hell with the word “love.”
Love just sucks.
That is a good fairytale for you,
Cuz fairytales don’t have happy endings…
As they all say,
I can never feel gay,
Which was such a dismay.
Our love,
Our heart.
I never felt love anyway
Torn..torn apart..
OUR LOVE,
OUR HEART.


Chains of Love –

By Jillian Brady

roses are red
violets are blue
you said you loved me
and i did too
but somehow neither of us
thought to ask
whether or not
we were up to the task
we had so much love
latching onto every bit
we didn’t realize
we were getting lost in it
happiness was climbing up out of our throats
and you said it so often to me
we were so happy
we had to be
and so our love ties us together
we’ve lost all hope
now we just sit here
trying to cope


Meaningless Treasures

By Chloe Courtney

You are my bleak creature,
I’m your empty monster.
Your color an incoherent hue,
has entered me like a nasty flu.
We create a black that darkens each year.

I can reach over and kiss your cheek now,
then through osmosis,
your contagious chaos penetrates me.

In mathematics we equal each other;
we form parallel lines that should have to pay fines,
for their misplacement.
Today’s wasted purpose we wallow in,
We know that this phase has become permanent.
You make my hollow soul feel full.

The two of us are consignment shops without items of use;
together we sweep across the desolate nation like toxins,
as we gather meaningless treasures.
What we keep is the promise to be nothing more than this.
Your hypoxic presence follows me, and provides pleasure unlike any other.

You’re glorious disgust makes me beam,
for you invincible ignuramous,
thanks to you my life is a deflating balloon.

Even when the gleam of light can no longer prevail,
you’ll be the sun that guides me on trails,
to find nothingness.


Love Poem

By Caitlyn Sullivan

An endless stream
of sonnets
buzzing in my head
they meld with stories and songs,
all the same in the end
they speak of heartbreak
or love true and everlasting
this poem is one of them,
lost to time
just like our love
and theirs


I Know I’m Not Perfect

By Jada Williams

Sometimes I sit in my room when it’s completely dark.
I sit there and daydream about the day I felt that spark.
Sit down, relax, and let me tell you how it started.
We were in a group, he was laughing because he knew I had farted.
His smile was so perfect and white I just knew it was fate,
But it also reminded me of how I should be scrubbing with Colgate.
When he walked by me he had a fresh fragrance that nearly swept me away.

When it comes to my smell, I mean I’d rather not say.
His hair is silky and flows very nice
I’m just hoping this random stuff in mine is not lice.
The point of this poem is to be truthful and bold,
Because it’s cuddle season now and it’s getting really cold.

Allen Blue i want to be your girlfriend,
I think you’re really hot.

I want to make out behind the bleachers and not get caught.
I like you because we have nothing in common and that’s hard to find,
So will you please do me a favor this Valentine’s day and be mine?

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