Where art thou, friends?

Sarah Synk writes a pleasantly corny five act play inspired by her two favorite things: Shakespeare and the Stranger Things TV Show

By Sarah Synk

~Act One~ 

Playwright’s note: Everything in my play was inspired by my two favorite things, Shakespeare and Stranger Things, so I do give some credit to them since my play is based on both their worlds. I hope you enjoy these cheesy references to each one!

-Sarah Synk

Patricia: I am…I am getting so sick of this. I just want life to get back to normal, you know? 

[Patricia adds some lipstick on her, and fixes her hair. Standing in front of her mirror, she is talking to her best friend, Annabella.]

Annabella: Well—nothing will ever be normal as far as I am concerned. I mean, you did start the fight. 

[Patricia sighs and sadly kind of agrees.]

Patricia: I sadly agree,  but we can absolutely turn everything back to normal.

[A knock on their door. It is their friend Lucas. Lucas smiles and looks as though nothing ever happened. Annabella, confused and all, addresses him.]

Annabella: What the hell are you doing here?

[Lucas takes a while to respond. In fact, he has no idea what he is doing at Patricia’s house.]

Lucas: You two girls—I cannot even tell you, really. I don’t know, I just felt like apologizing. In person. You know.

[The phone rings, and Lucas’s friend Henry wants to FaceTime him. All he wants to do is tell him about the Stranger Things party that his friend is hosting. Lucas does not even want to answer, but his body forces him to. He tells the two girls to quiet down.]

Henry: [Playing Legend of Zelda while  talking] Dude, I cannot wait for the Stranger Things party. A shame that Patricia wanted to fight with us. And it is a shame she is friends with that hot Annabella girl. 

[Lucas’s face gets red. He tries not to give away the fact that he was at Patricia’s home apologizing for how he acted. Annabella is not paying attention to his phone conversation. She is tucked away, sneaking in her journal to write in. It had, among all geeky things, a picture of Shakespeare on the front.]

Henry: Bro, what’s up? Your face just got bright red as a cherry tomato.

Henry comes to a realization that Lucas is at Patricia’s house.

Henry: Goddamit, you’re at Patricia’s house, bro?

[Henry’s face turns from a sigh of relief to a hint of worry. He gulps, his heart rate going up.]

Lucas: [Admitting] Okay, I am, bro.  I just had to give Patricia’s book back.

[Actually, Lucas has come to a realization that this is true. Lucas  has  to return the book by the one and only Shakespeare: Hamlet. Lucas quickly hangs up the phone.]

Lucas: Actually, yeah that’s what I wanted to do. Give you back your book. Well… 

[He takes his backpack, places it on the floor, and grabs Patricia’s copy of Hamlet.]

Here…you…ah… go. 

[Lucas leaves, and as Patricia holds the book by her favorite author, she cries. She already misses Lucas. Lucas has a love for Shakespeare just like she does. Annabella places a hand over her shoulder.]

Annabella: Come on, let’s order some pizza! 

~Act Two~ 

[Lucas sits in the Choir room. He is angry. All he wants to do is focus on Choir, but he just cannot. He keeps thinking about Patricia, who is way hotter than Annabella. But Patricia did start the fight—with Lucas still forgetting—and so, his heart aches.]

Choir director: Okay, folks. Let’s sing “Double Trouble Toil and Trouble….” 

[Lucas especially wants to cheer himself up. This song is from Harry Potter, but originated from Shakespeare’s Macbeth. An alto, named Crystal, looks at him. She hates seeing her fellow Choir members sad.

Crystal: [Scooches over to him, giving him a bear hug.] Okay, my glorious tenor. What the hell is wrong? 

[Lucas, looking at a stellar alto, smiles. He realizes he needed one of his Show Choir friends to cheer him up.]

Lucas: Ey, it is complicated. Really. I don’t want to go much into detail.

[Crystal, nodding her head, understands. She hands him a book…it is A Midnight’s Summer Dream.]

Crystal: Since you love Shakespeare, read this. I don’t need it.

[The Choir Director looks up and is angry. She beckons Crystal to go back to her spot in  the alto section and Crystal winks, but she has no interest in Lucas.  She is with her Alto friends, giggling up a storm. The Choir Director suddenly gets angry, cancelling the choir for the rest of the afternoon.] 

~Act Three~  

[Patricia walks over to her locker. She sees Lucas filing out of the Choir classroom and tries to ignore him. As she opens her locker, a lot of Shakespeare books fall out of it. One of them is Twelfth Night, and another is Romeo and Juliet. She never read either of them before. It was, of course, from her best friend Annnabella. She decides to skip class and read them near an empty trash can.  Patria loves the first line of The Twelfth Night . She reads it aloud.]

Patricia: “If music be the food of love, play on, Give me excess of it…” 

[Lucas walks right beside her. She looks up.]

Lucas: I cannot believe you are reciting Shakespeare out loud. And why are you sitting near a trash can?

[She rolls her eyes. Then she realizes that her teacher has left the classroom. Class is over, and Patricia gets up.]

Patricia: Shit, oh shit, oh shit! 

[She sprints, huffing and puffing, and bumps into Annabella. Patricia drops her books, and Annabella sees them.]

Annabella: You skipped class and read the Shakespeare books I gave you?

[The two walk into the bathroom.]

Patricia: Yeah, and I was almost caught. Lucas was chatting up a storm. He is trying to make things normal again! But Henry is being a dumbass….

~Act Four~ 

Henry: Yo to the yo, the Stranger Things party is tonight man…

[He looks at Lucas, and he is mad at him. He saw Lucas in the hallway earlier, talking to Patricia.

And, um, I am sorry to say: You are not invited to it anymore.

[Lucas looks at him, confused. They are fighting…over nothing. Just like Romeo and Juliet’s families as well….Romeo and Juliet. Minus the star crossed lovers.]

Lucas: Just fuck…you. 

Henry: Yeah, well. I saw you talking to Patricia. I can’t stand Annabella and Patricia, and you are not loyal to me. So, you can take your traitor ass elsewhere.

Lucas: Fine. I don’t need to be at the party anyways. I will just watch Stranger Things myself. 

Henry: Okay, and good. I don’t need your negativity either. The Lucas in Stranger Things is better than you anyways. More mature. Less of a whiny brat. Less of a traitor. 

Lucas: Oh yeah…well. Henry V is better than you! 

[And they are done for good. Henry gives Lucas a nice bruised eye, and plans to tell everyone about it at the Stranger Things party.  It’s for the better, not the worse.]

~Act Five~ 

[Normally, Patricia, Annabella, Henry, and Lucas go to parties, and tonight is the Stranger Things-themed party that Lucas’s stupid friend was hosting. Instead, Patricia and Annabella choose a healthier alternative: reading and acting Shakespeare plays out loud (and watching Leonardo Dicaprio’s film version of Romeo and Juliet).  Lucas decides to text Patricia that night, sounding all Shakespearian and geeky and stuff.]

Lucas: [Texting]

Dearest  Patricia and Annabella,

I am sorry for how I acted. ‘Twas Henry’s damn fault. To be honest, I never knew why we were friends. Oh yeah, that’s right: Because we are “named” after our favorite characters in Shakespeare and Stranger Things: Henry V. and Lucas from Stranger Things. I shall (and want to) keep our connections cool. Can we—and shall we—please forgive each other? 

[At the end of the text, Lucas adds a picture of drama masks. Patricia is skeptical about his apology but laughs at it at the same time.]

Patricia: Shall we forgive him? [laughs]

I mean, I did start the fight, but now I feel guilty about it. Let’s invite him to our Shakespearean read-aloud movie night. Pizza’s on me!

Annabella: [smirking] Yeah, I love that idea, but he is going to that Stranger Things party tonight, right?

[Patricia sighs and texts Lucas]

Dearest Lucas,

Yeah, yah good ol’ friend Henry was a jerk, and I know I started the fight, but he just wants his anger to linger, and it shall linger for him. I do accept your apology. We shall forget what happened. I would invite you tonight to our Shakesperian read-aloud and movie thingy, but you’re going to the party with Henry.

[Lucas sighs as he finishes reading the text.]

Lucas: [Sighs as he finishes reading the text. He texts back.]

Dearest Patricia and Annabella,

I was uninvited. And to be quite frank, I’m watching Stranger Things myself tonight. Is it okay if I go to your thing instead?

Patricia: [Texting]

Dearest Lucas,

Yeah, good friend, sure. I hope Henry will turn himself around for the greater good. And why are we writing texts like they are letters? No reason lol. And of course you can come.

Lucas: [Texting]

Dear Patricia and Annabella,
Yeah I guess you’re right. Let’s read some Shakespeare all night long. Wahoooo!

The End. 

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