His Side/Her Side: A Love Poem

The Winning Entry of our Worst Love Poem Contest!

By Richard Mayne

His Side:

I’d watch you, before you knew me yet.
I’d think myself Romeo, and you Juliet.
I knew we’d make for a perfect match,
Turns out, we were more perfect than that.
I think on our future, and all of its joys.
Marriage, our children, I see two girls, two boys.
You pick me up on days that couldn’t be worse.
Our love is as fresh today, as it was on the first.
There were those three years, we were off track.
And it’s still a little weird…
Seeing my brother’s name, on the small of your back.

Her Side:

I’ll be honest, I settled for you…I might’ve been lonely, or had nothing better to do.
I’m not quite sure what you think…I wouldn’t have your kids, if the human race was going extinct.
Your poetry sucks. It’s corny and cliché…Screw you, and screw a V-Day.
There’s only one thing I never doubt…When you mention marriage, I throw up in my mouth.
Our “love” is rotten, way past stale…I was going to leave, then your W2s came in the mail.
I’m sorry my dear. I have some bad news…I’m only with you for your taxes, and all the free booze.
On this “day of love”, you are a sucker…You’ll think I’m at work, but I’m screwing your brother.

And that whole “watch me before you knew me” line, that’s creepy as hell, dude. Just saying.

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