By Luke Cai
Before the Gates of St. Peters
Stood four blades of grass.
To gain entry into Heaven
They were asked, “what did you do?”
The first approached. Eager to reflect,
It said, “I lived a long life, I fed cows
On the pasture but died from a plague.”
God let this blade of grass through.
The second inched forward.
“My life was also well served,
Dying only under a soldier’s trampling foot.”
God opened the gates.
The third withheld, terse with unease.
“I could have lived a good life, but I starved
From a drought before I could do good.”
God too opened the gates.
The last, ashamed to recall
the stories of its life, answered in silence,
“Memory is bitter to me. I do not recall
Good deeds. All I recall is being dead at birth.”
But God in all His glory opened the gates,
Welcoming this blade of grass for a better second life.
But as it approached the fabled haven,
It saw the golden light and withered in a glimpse.
Moral: We’re all going to die. Heaven only exists in moral relativism.
Have a gay time while you can.